NUEDGE unhinged journal

Useless news of a random human being, now almost weekly!


It’s been a while. My mental state has already transcended anything sane, but it doesn’t matter. I am still here, but not to suffer.

Last Sunday, I went visiting an ex-classmate of mine in her new university city. She seems to be okay (and her boyfriend, too!). We went on a tour around the city and visited the local museum. It was a long day, but it was worth it.


The first week of lessons just finished. Needless to say I got my schedule wrong in every way possible: no time to recover from commuting, no time for copying notes and studying, no time to catch up with my friends. Well, almost no time for my friends: luckily I managed to have breakfast with a colleague of mine before rushing home to hang the laundry.

There are other things I felt during this week, and some of them are symptoms of a disorder, but I hope I need no trips to Psycholand.

2023-02-24 — Guess who’s back, motherf—?

Finally. I am free from exam season! Well, at least for two or three days: next classes are next Monday, so… yeah. Words can’t describe how much I needed a break: the entries on my bullet journal kept getting sadder and more tired every single day; I should have asked for help more than I did, but I managed to reach the end anyway — and that’s a positive for sure.

By the way, I’m not the only person “back”. My boy Skrillex released a couple albums and a bunch of singles within a single month. I still don’t have an opinion on most tracks, but the last one uploaded on his YouTube channel isn’t too bad.

Tonight is film night: we have the second LOTR on the menu. I hope it’s as good as the first one!


There was a Bingo afternoon at my local church yesterday; I helped with the tickets and with moving the tables in position. It was quite fun and we received lots of compliments. Finally something good, useful and fun!

Speaking of fun things, I added Res Arcana to my “treat” shopping list. This game isn’t too difficult to grasp and at the same time it isn’t boring, since there are enough randomly assigned cards so that two matches never play the same. A friend of mine lended me his copy of the game and my little brother approved it for some dank gaming nights.


Let’s just say there’s a lot of work I have to do on myself to get out of my questionable mindset. A straight month of Bullet Journaling on a real, paper notebook is helping me remember the good things that happen, so that I don’t focus on the bad ones too much. Even if some days I just feel like doing nothing, the pleasant situations outweight the blue hours, for now.


I guess this journal will be weekly from now on, at least until March. I’m not having enough things to report in a meaningful way to write an entry every single day (or couple of days).

Yesterday I went to university for an interesting seminar about the foundation of logic and mathematics. It was one of the most inspiring lectures I had in a while. The only bad thing is that it’s over now.

I stumbled upon this video by Tantacrul. I didn’t know such evil people exist.


I was on the edge of a breakdown. Luckily, I didn’t alienate my friends in the process, so they listened and offered a solid different perspective. I can’t thank them enough; I’m so happy they exist.


I’m trying to fix my sleeping schedule. Today I woke up at 6:30AM to go to uni and study. The problem is I was sleepy for too much time, so the time I actually studied was quite little. I hope tomorrow will be better in this regard.

I write for a small themed blog. I’ve been bouncing ideas with the blog’s owner for a week. Today I shared some of them with the rest of the team, but they weren’t exaclty enthusiast…

2023-01-09 — Stop being so sad!

Oh, dear, how much negativity in my entries! All it took was one afternoon of good work and studying with no constant distraction by Reddit and HN to feel better. Perhaps my brain categorises studying at a higher level than mindlessly reading other people’s comments on things I’m mildly interested in. I need to take notes on this.


I still write “2022” on this thing’s date. That’s mildly annoying.

Almost nothing happened today. The highest point in the day was this mix I listened to while doing stuff on the computer. And by stuff I mean waste precious time. My resolutions are not helping me — and why should they? I should help myself.


I watched the first LOTR film for the first time in my life. I was quite missing something, to be honest. It still isn’t my favourite film, but it’s good stuff nonetheless.

I’m probably going back to university on Monday, and since exams are in two weeks I may update this little thing way less than I would like to.


I’m updating this thing today, because yesterday’s dinner was the only thing worthy of note. I went eating sushi with some friends of friends I’d never met before. They were good people, to be honest, and some of them were quite fun as well. Unfortunately there is a little issue going on with a mutual friend: his girlfriend isn’t welcome, as far as I understood the situation. I’m not a fan of this, since said friend is my friend nonetheless, and it would be sad if we didn’t meet again due to his girlfriend.

Today I drove my parents to the train station: they’re going on a 2-day trip (I can’t remember where they did go, but whatever). The problem is I had to wake up at a sensible hour instead of the usual 11AM I’m used to at the moment. Well, I caught up with the sleeping as soon as I got home.


This is the first day of the year I dedicate to studying. Yay…

Yesterday I set my bullet journal up with a couple of custom sections I may need throughout the year, especially the theme ideas section: since I want to choose a different theme for each season/quarter, I may need ready-made ideas if the next thing isn’t obvious to me.

2023-01-01 — New Year’s here!

Happy New Year, everyone! I’m starting 2023 with a really bad cold, but at least I’m still here, and not to suffer.

Following the suggestion from CGP Grey’s video, I decided to start the Winter of Management: I realised my life is going nowhere specifically, and that may be due to a lack of me actually managing what happens to me. I don’t know whether this theme thing will do the trick, but at least I must give myself some months to try it without whining about “nothing going as planned” (if nothing is actually planned, nothing can go as planned).

Of course this journal will contain eventual failures or successes of this journey. I bought a physical notebook (slightly bigger than A5 in size) to track some other things, but having a public interface for it can have some good effects on my mental being.

2022-12-29 — RIP Catbox

I don’t know why, but the Catbox service stopped working. To be fair, the whole website seems unreachable. I hope it’s a temporary problem, and nothing to worry about.

Luckily, someone else is doing the preparations for New Year’s Eve. Thanks, my friends, for letting me sleep these days! :)

I discovered a good album on Bandcamp. You should check it out here!

2022-12-28 — Christmas aftermath

These last days have been quite good: the Mass was okay, the dinner with relatives was fine (I guess) and the trip with the parish’s kids was actually quite fun.

Today is the day I wrap up everything and start studying again. I know getting back to the “usual” rythm will be hard, but I must do it, because exams aren’t that far away.

2022-12-23 — Christmas pressure

Christmas is coming, if you didn’t know. I’m feeling it right now, because I have some preparation to do and everything is due tomorrow or even the 25th and I would rather chill and do nothing for days. Luckily Christmas is only once a year.


Winter officially started yesterday, but the sky is grey today as well. My will to live is still quite shaky, but I can do this.

I wonder if being always within the last three updated sites on Ichi makes me eligible for a prize, maybe a peluche toy.


Yesterday was all about catching up with schoolwork. After dinner, I lost three hours watching some top EDM charts. Going to bed at 1AM wasn’t a great idea.

Just before lunch, I watched GMTK’s beginning of “Developing”, and my mental state went quite high. I was looking for the link and found this as well. What?

I want to test whether FLAC files can be directly accessed on HTML or not.

The answer is a clear yes.

2022-12-20 — Something went fine

The social thing last evening went fine. The guy who helped me was very nice and supportive. Unfortunately, when I got home I was informed my brother was sick.

Yet again, I’m struggling to find the motivation to study. Tomorrow will be better, I hope; but for now I need to concentrate.

2022-12-19 — The beginning of this little thing.

Not feeling great lately: it’s like I lost interest on my usual hobbies. Not even music cuts it anymore. I hope it’s not because I feel the need to be engaged to someone instead of something.

The first paragraph was written at night, but now it’s actually the new day. I should have studied, or at least should have read something from lecture. But no, nothing. I always hope my future me gets better at this, but I’m never that future me.

Well, at least this evening I can be useful to somebody: there is an event in town and my help is needed for the preparation. Unfortunately, the guy I usually work with in these cases is sick (thanks, COVID), so someone new will come.

Finally, at 3PM I found some will to study. I need to thank this song.